Hilarious And Insane: CNN Is Trying To Launch ANOTHER Subscription Service

Fake news CNN is attempting to launch another subscription service, despite wasting hundreds of millions of dollars on its failed CNN + which sank like a stone in 2022.

The network has announced that it is launching a new platform called “All Access,” a streaming tier that provides access to live and on-demand CNN programming, unlimited articles on CNN.com and the app, and “exclusive content.”

It will launch on October 28, priced at $6.99 per month or $69.99 per year.

This follows the disastrous CNN+ service, which was almost immediately shut down due to nobody being batshit crazy enough to pay money to watch CNN.

People don’t watch CNN for free? How exactly is this supposed to work? People pay so they don’t have to watch it? https://t.co/q4Dg8xLFa2

— EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) October 16, 2025

CNN has stated that the move is part of a shift to digital amid declining cable revenue, with Executive VP Alex MacCallum noting “It’s an essential step in CNN’s evolution as we work to give audiences the complete CNN experience in a format that reflects how audiences engage with the news today.”

Does anyone at all want the “complete CNN experience”? No thanks.

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The network must be caught in a fever dream, or just in complete denial given the spectacular flameout of CNN+, which hemorrhaged around $300 million in a mere month before Warner Bros. Discovery pulled the plug.

Yet here we are with the network doubling down on the same unsuccessful formula.

What's the definition of insanity?

— Scott G (@SkidWillie) October 16, 2025

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CNN+ was billed as a revolutionary move to transform news consumption with premium streaming, but it instantly collapsed under the weight of overpriced and undesirable content that couldn’t compete with free alternatives, leaving executives red-faced and investors furious. 

Literally no one was going to open their wallet for more Potato head nonsense from Brian Stelter or racist commentary from deluded Don Lemon. The two were fired shortly after the debacle.

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With cable TV revenues cratering and audiences fleeing to ad-supported platforms like YouTube or X for their fixes of real news, CNN’s second attempt smacks of pure desperation rather than innovation. 

In the graveyard of media experiments, CNN+ houses the grand tomb, yet here they are again, convinced that slapping a paywall on pathetic propaganda punditry will magically reverse their fortunes.

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The Most CNN Thing Ever…

CNN hasn’t been insightful for two decades, now it’s just inciteful.

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The insanity amplifies when you consider CNN’s toxic reputation in an era of totally fragmented trust. Polls and social sentiment paint a picture of widespread disdain: conservatives view it as a far left echo chamber, independents decry its bias and sensationalism, and even liberals view it as little more than clownworld clickbait.

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The reaction has been bruta, with social media users mocking it as “CNN++” and predicting another multibillion-dollar black hole, echoing the original flop’s ridicule.

You can safely sign up for the free trial because it's not as if it's going to auto-renew.
The service will be gone within the month.
??

— TheBiggestOfAllEd's (@wonderlump) October 16, 2025

Why would anyone shell out cash for more crap content? 

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"Double-secret CNN" pic.twitter.com/EVA0g3SrGp

— Sal21 (@Sal214u) October 16, 2025

In a world where “cord-cutting” is the norm and free news aggregators dominate, CNN’s hubris reeks of deluded and insulated executives ignoring the reality that their toxic brand is more liability than asset. 

CNN Proudly Brags That The Mexican flag Has Become “A Defining Symbol” Of LA Riots

They had more viewers when they attempted this and failed the first time https://t.co/hQUU4YwQBp

— The Dank Knight ? (@capeandcowell) October 16, 2025

Far from bold reinvention—it’s willful blindness to market rejection.

.@POTUS bodies CNN (again): "I didn't say you. You're CNN. Fake News." ?? pic.twitter.com/MZOIrbsT4v

— Rapid Response 47 (@RapidResponse47) October 16, 2025

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