Now They Just Look Gay As F**k

Stop getting Bond wrong

Amazon Prime has taken the decision to digitally erase James Bond’s gun from the promotional posters for every single Bond film ever made.

The streaming giant has acquired the rights to the franchise and is relaunching it, but apparently without the spy having a license to kill.

The blatant digital manipulation of some of the posters, leaving the actors’ hands in odd positions makes them look frankly gay as fuck.

In the cover for Dr. No, Sean Connery minus his pistol looks less like Bond and more like Barry Manilow at the Copacabana. They should rename it Dr. No Balls.



Pierce Bronson in the Goldeneye cover now appears to mysteriously shaping his hand into a suggestive position, just begging to have you know what photoshopped into it. 

They could’ve used any image of Brosnan from the film but they intentionally chose the one where he was holding a gun and then went to the trouble of removing it, just to hammer home the point.

On Tomorrow Never Dies, Brosnan without a gun just looks like he wants to sell you some home insurance. 

Roger Moore on the cover for Octopussy (surely soon to be renamed) looks like a complete… pussy.

On The Man With The Golden Gun, he no longer has any gun, be it gold or not.

On A View To A Kill they photoshopped his arms to be really long to hide the gun.

Timothy Dalton is so digitally altered that he no longer looks like Timothy Dalton, and he just looks like a bored substitute teacher.

And then there’s Lazenby. What the hell is he wearing?

Why are we not allowed to even see a James Bond holding a gun?

Amazon’s merger with MGM also means that it is part of the studio piloting the next Bond film. God alone knows what it is going to further devolve into.

Nope.

Please, stop getting Bond wrong.

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Comments 7
  1. ..Bond has been ruined ever since, after catching the villain in ‘Specter’ (spelling), he announced that ‘now that Scotland Yard is here, they can handle it’. since then, i haven’t wasted time, energy, or money on the bond franchise..

  2. Well … if you’ve ever thought Pierce Brosnan is a wanker? Now you have visual proof. Or should he be holding a Bud Light for his husband?

  3. Test modding is absolutely correct. “Lets see how far we can push the “wokeness” before we get cancelled like so many other doofus’ have tried.

  4. Just what Amazon is trying to prove by this silliness is unknown to the majority common sense population.

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