The ‘crack’ from Christmas crackers is being removed for environmental reasons and to turn Christmas into a “celebration of responsibility,” defeating the entire purpose of pulling one in the first place.
Yes, really.
Joyless eco-mentalists, committed in their mission to eliminate all fun, have lobbied for the introduction of ‘crackless crackers’, and their efforts are already coming to fruition.
“Alliance National, one of Britain’s biggest catering suppliers, has announced it will offer only environmentally friendly “crackless” crackers to its customers, which include dozens of care homes, hotels, pubs and restaurants across the country,” reports the Telegraph.
The silver fulminate has been removed from the items because it can’t be recycled.
Emphasizing the spirit, or lack of it, behind the change, the supplier has also completely removed jokes from its crackers too.
Precisely what is the point, then?
Author Christopher Snowden encountered one of the boring crackers during a recent lunch hosted by the Lords and Commons Cigar Club in the House of Lords.
He said they were “rubbish” and felt like when “you pull a cracker and they don’t crack and you just think it’s broken.”
What will they ruin next? Gift wrapping? Mistletoe?
How long before Christmas trees are banned entirely in the name of ‘celebrating responsibly’?
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I never understood the point of crackers anyway, so it makes no difference to me. In fact, if you ask me, it’s all pretty pointless greenwashing. A really green celebration of Christmas wouldn’t include buying pointless crap that you are going to throw straight away. The fun should be in things like great food, singing, partying, and if the weather isn’t cloudy, pointing to the stars and telling people where the Christmas traditions actually come from. They didn’t originally come from a supermarket, you know.
The most important question now is; Will the new King of England use joyless crackers? Will he yell “CRACK” when he pulls one as is expected of the commoners now? But he probably has someone to yell for him. The Royal Cracker Noise Maker perhaps?
Yes, saving the world alright…..from fun. Leftists are just the most miserable people on the planet and the only satisfaction they ever get is making everyone else as miserable as they are.
Bring back Disqus, Paul.
It’s amazing how these lunatics always find their way into positions of authority.
The fuckers will be going after the christmas lights on the trees next.
They already are going after the warm winter fire, the REAL meat and now the crackers.
The grinch would be proud.